Ok I know it’s been a “hot minute” (as my 17 year old would say) since I’ve written anything,and yes I’m typing this from the only quiet room in the house…..the bathroom.
However, I just wanted to share with you part of my heart. Lane and Nathaniel are home for Christmas Break. This was my view this morning…..2 lumps snoring away and a Batman.
My heart is full
SO let’s get real here….because of course that’s why I started blogging again to be able to write out my real feelings and life adventures. Not that my past posts haven’t been real but they’ve been more uplifting then this one I suppose.
You know what’s hard? Having a child that other’s consider not on the “norm” side of things. You know what is harder? Having a child that is not considered the “norm” during the holidays. Mainly because you most likely have at least SOME traditions you like to try and keep and share with your little one and sometimes when they have young siblings it’s hard on them as well because they don’t understand why you might have to do things differently.
(Andrew is diagnosed with Autism,Sensory Processing Disorder and other developmental delays. He is 3 and a half but functions more on a 2 year old level with severe language delays and I’m guessing some OCD issues that usually go along with Autism)
We have taken the last 2 years of holidays relatively easy since Andrew’s issues have popped up. One thing that I thought would be simple though was doing cookies. Boy was I wrong. He WANTED to do cookies he WANTED to cut them out and sprinkle them….the problem was he wanted to do it all on his own without sharing and put them in the oven all by himself. I feel guilty for suggesting something that lead to a major meltdown.
He WANTED to be the only one using the rolling pin and by the time he had to share that he couldn’t fathom doing something else…the poor kid I cannot imagine having your head and body just that jumbled all the time. I snapped this pic within the only 30 seconds he wasn’t crying or trying to take things from his sister so I could remember at least we tried. Squishy,his sister and their older sibling Roman finished the cookies after I got Andrew back downstairs.
The whole thing just sucks. It sucks that the poor kid is 90% of the time so on edge he can’t relax and enjoy the holidays like some of us. It breaks my heart for him and I find myself getting angry. Not at him but at the situation. Last Christmas I stayed home with Andrew while Squishy and her dad went to the families I just knew it was going to be too much for him,and I wanted Squishy to be able to spend time with her cousins.
This year since we live much closer we’ll try taking him over and make sure he has a quiet place,if needed,but he tends to be a runner when he gets over stimulated. So if I have to take him home I will. I”m really hoping though that he’ll be able to enjoy some of it…..because this kid is awesome. He tries even when I know he has figured out it might be hard on him.
He will enjoy Christmas with us in his own way and that will be awesome as well. We will go slow on the decorating,and take breaks when needed. We will make new traditions that may or may not stick. And next year we’ll see where he’s at and adjust from there.
When you have 6 kids from the ages of 19 down to 3 life is never ever still. I honestly thought when they became teenagers that they would,ya know maybe need me less. HA! Parenting teens is hard you guys! I’ve been doing it for the last 6 years and just as I get one through a tough phase the other one comes beebopping into it. I think “ok I just went through this phase with their older sibling I’ve got this” and then BAM they add a new spin to it.
I’ve always raised my kids with encouraging them to have their own opinions and values AS LONG as they were respectful of the other people in the family. It’s important I think because well…they’re going to grow up someday and be an adult and most likely will not always have the same views as us. Some days though,it’s like an episode of Family Ties where Alex and Mallory and the parents are all in an argument.I probably just dated myself there but,that’s what I always think of. At least it makes me smile in the midst of the “how can you even think like that?” debates.
Then there are the days when the teens don’t agree with how I’m parenting the littles(ages 6 and 3). HA! Those are always fun days. Listen here kiddo,I pushed these 2 adorable creatures out of my hoohaw I can raise them how I feel fit. I mean I didn’t screw up the olders TOO badly.
That being said for the most part my teens are awesome young adults just trying to navigate their way through young adulthood,which is terrifying at best. My 17 year old has been working non stop at Shopko now for the last 3 months. Some mornings his days start at 3 am!
My 19 and 16 year old are living in an apartment the next town over so my 16 year old can stay at the homeschool parent partnership he has been at for the last 5 years. He found his passion for acting at this school taking him from it would kill him. He has the lead as Aladdin this year and he gets to sing! For this arrangement to work it takes a lot on my 16 year olds end to make it work. He must still go off the homeschool lesson plan I make for him as well as pass his tests,make it to classes,rehearse his lines,and learn how to cook for himself. My 19 year old oversees him and is also searching for a job within walking distance of their apartment to help with the bills. The 16 year old comes home for the weekend almost every week and we go over what he has learned and you know spend time with him since we are still his legal guardians. And I miss both of them terribly.
My 14 year old after years of being homeschooled decided this year they wanted to dive head in to 8th grade public school! I applaud them for that because well 8th grade as a new kid SUCKS! They have taken the challenge head on and are not only doing well in classes,but has a circle of friends.
And me?I am here when there’s the rare chance they need an ear. I have found they talk less as teens but man when they do open up some of the best discussions ever happen. I love watching how different all 4 are. Now when they need a ride somewhere thats a whole other story. Did I mention not a single one drives?
Yes they need you when they’re little but I’m finding they need you even more when they’re teens. You’re going to cry over somethings,be left bewildered over others,and sometimes just beam with pride. Even among the chaos, I know at this moment they are all doing their best and that makes me happy and proud of them. Yup my teens are pretty awesome people….and of course now since I typed this I guarantee you one of them will give me a WTF moment today,because ya know…..that’s life!
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
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